why i’m quitting pablo ballpark’s big day out (april fools)

by anzky

hello, everyone! sorry to announce, but due to recent events, i am going to be stepping down from development on the pablo ballpark. this has been a hard decision for me to make, but i know that it’s more important that i put my mental health before the game. i would like to thank all of you who supported me/worked on the game, even if you didn’t do much to contribute. many of your kind words was one of my main reasons i kept developing. sadly though, due to recent events, i simply can’t continue working on the game. it’s taken too great of a toll on my mental health.

but why?

in the paragraph i just wrote, i had referred to recent events, but if you haven’t been active in the server for the past few days, you may have completely missed out. before i can explain what happened recently that would push me to quit, i have to explain where it started.

the first of many difficulties with pablo ballpark’s development was when i realized i needed to switch to godot. in the Löve2D version of the game, it had become apparent that creating the jiggle physics of pablo’s three asses would be impossible on godot. even two asses ran terribly, even on my computer. godot handled it much better, thankfully. it still took an entire month to figure out how to implement it though.

this is the code i eventually landed on:

needless to say, i’m still pretty proud of that code. but with a fourth ass planned, the code for the jiggle physics would just become too much to code. that and having to switch engines took a significant toll on my health. that wasn’t even the final straw though. i have to bring up the elephant in the room:

working with pablo

working with pablo ballpark hasn’t been the easiest, considering the multiple incidents that have happened throughout development. in fact, he was the one who originally suggested having multiple asses, and i didn’t want to say no. i was pressured into giving him what he wanted throughout development of the game. 

one notable incident was during the Löve2D era, i had asked pablo for a pen. he stared at me with a mischievous grin, and replied: “I do have a pen, but you need to find it” (Ballpark). i spent at least three minutes looking around the room, until i spotted the pen perched atop his lavender rump. this was a red flag, but i had tried to ignore it. as time went on, it became harder to ignore. 

one day in january, he played that one Witch Doctor song at an ear shattering 100 dB. every time i would tell him to turn it down, he would turn it up by 10 dB. as a result, i’ve had to make the entirety of the pablo ballpark soundtrack beethoven style. pablo has never apologized. i started to become convinced that the more asses i gave him, the bigger his ego became.

the recent event

if you have been on the pablo ballpark server in the past few days, you’re probably aware of what this “recent event” is. i had found pablo ballpark’s private X account, which was quite disturbing. it seems he spent multiple hours fighting the “#woke SJWs” in “our blessed country”. they were all bots. he also followed multiple gimmick accounts related to piss drinking. but the most disturbing detail of all, was that he followed Elon Musk, Elon Fusk, and even… Elon Busk. 

i eventually confronted him about such behavior, and he simply stared at me in silence for about ten seconds and then said: “Sorry, I don’t listen to STUPID.” (Ballpark). he then proceeded to do his “Ass Claps While Walking Away Smugly Walk”™ when he tripped on a pebble, rolled down a ten foot ditch, rolled beneath a horse, and was stomped to death slowly and brutally. this was a traumatizing event, to say the least, but on the bright side, a huge burden was lifted off of my shoulders.

future plans

since pablo ballpark has ended, i’d like to set my eyes on something more enjoyable, something new. i want to make it clear that my game development career is far from over, and i plan to make much more in the future, so expect big things. i have a completely new project in mind, something bigger than ever before. i might need a big team, but if i work hard, i’ll give the world something truly special. i can’t wait to work on it, so i’ll see you guys when Pablo Ballpark With Five Asses (2029) is done!

-anzky